Arashi
by True Colours
Summary: He is as magnificent and as unreachable as a thundercloud. He stirs her as the storm stirs the ocean. And yet it is her he chooses to love. Best poetic lines are in the summary. Chapter 2 is now a separate story.


**Arashi**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew. However, I do own the design of Pai's awesome shirt in this fic. It did up with a belt in the anime.

**Summary:** He is as magnificent and as unreachable as a thundercloud. He stirs her as the storm stirs the ocean. And yet it is her he chooses to love. MILDLY M. Best poetic lines are in the summary.

**A/N: A romance scene is a logistical nightmare, so I apologise in advance for any repetition or confusion. You may also notice that I switch between Lettuce and Retasu. Retasu is for extra emphasis.**

**Dedicated to Rico Latte Mew – it's not M rated, but I do my best – and Essence of Gold, whose slave-driving beta style is both flattering and invaluable in getting the job done. **

**The title means storm. And with all that said, I present you with this directionless but fluffsome oneshot.**

**(What am I saying, the two are not mutually exclusive...)**

She'd done it.

She had defeated the chimera animae, and as her head broke the surface she felt the power of the Mew Aqua leave her.

Oh.

One minute she was Mew Lettuce, floating in the calm light it cast over her, certain of her goal and her ability to achieve it. The next she was frightened, fifteen-year-old Retasu, who could barely swim, bobbing helplessly in a storm-tossed sea.

She opened her mouth to scream and an icy wave smacked into it, choking her with the overwhelming taste of salt. The strong sensation was a two-sided coin: on the one hand it reassured her that she was still alive, but on the other it reminded her of the omnipresence of the sea. She didn't know where the shore was. Heck, she was even having trouble telling up from down. As if to prove the point a huge swell broke over her, rolling her over and over as it surged forwards. Oh God, where were the rocks? Lettuce struggled to the surface once more, coughing and spluttering. The waves should be heading towards the beach, right?...but even as she thought this another one came at her from the opposite direction, towering huge and apocalyptic over her head.

Lettuce struggled to stay afloat as the cold sapped her strength. Where were the others? Of course, she was the only one who had the power to work in such a storm. They had probably all been forced to retreat long ago. The aliens had most likely fled too, for fear of the wind.

Another wave caught her, and then she felt herself suddenly jerked two ways as a pair of arms locked around her torso. They refused to let her float on the swell and she was plunged underwater. Water gushed down her throat, burningly salty and cold. Lettuce began to struggle wildly against her captor, but the arms were holding her as securely as an iron vice. Her head broke the surface again and she sucked in a gasping breath. Pain stabbed through her chest as she did so, and she couldn't seem to draw in deeply.

'Hold still,' a harsh voice, a male voice, growled in her ear. 'You're fine, I've got you.' The world lurched and swam, and then disappeared altogether. Have I died? Lettuce wondered. She could see nothing but grey, and a crushing pressure was squeezing in on her from all sides. Then suddenly it released, and she found herself tumbling onto her own kitchen floor.

Her rescuer knelt over her and pounded on her chest. Lettuce dragged in a huge breath and began to cough up water. She couldn't believe how much she had swallowed. Finally she lay back, panting, and realised that she wasn't out of the storm at all. It had simply changed form and materialised in him.

Dripping blue-black hair, cloud-white skin, eyes like summer lightning...now Lettuce knew where all the love-poems she'd perused in the library came from. They sprang, fully formed, into the minds of people innocently trying to think.

Pai did that to her.

It was him, kneeling over her with a face like thunder. She cowered back against the tiles of the kitchen floor, her reaction going so far beyond conventional fear, but then she realised that his anger was not directed at her. He pulled her up into a sitting position and demanded:

'Lettuce, are you alright?'

'I'm f-f-fine,' she stuttered, still shaking with cold and shock. She couldn't begin to wonder why he had saved her, or what would happen next. His name seemed stuck in her head, endlessly drawn out as though someone had hit the 'pause' button on her thoughts.

_Pai Pai Pai Pai Pai..._

'You're shivering,' he said. 'You need to dry off quickly; I'll fetch you a towel. Are you thirsty?'

She nodded dumbly. Before she could so much as blink Pai scooped her into his arms and carried her through into the living room, setting her down on the sofa. He turned without waiting for her to speak and hurried back through the door.

It was dark in the living room but she didn't feel like getting up to switch on the light or open the curtains, closed against the storm. She slumped on the couch, trying to gather her scattered thoughts and control the despair that always seemed to overtake her when she was around Pai. Her fixation with him was both impractical and hopeless. Hopeless because he was way out of her league and she would never dare to approach a boy anyway, impractical because they were fighting opposite sides of a war.

Though if they were fighting a war, why had he just saved her?

Pai returned with a thick towel from the bathroom and handed it to her.

'I shall fetch you some water; you need to rehydrate after swallowing so much salt,' he said. He withdrew back to the kitchen, closing the door discreetly behind him to allow her some privacy. She heard the sound of the tap being run, and her throat closed with thirst. She began to towel herself off as quickly as possible so as to be able to drink. She knew her normal cloths would be dry, so she focussed on just getting the water off her skin, and then wrapped the towel around her hair to contain it before transforming.

As she finished towelling her hair Pai returned with the water in a glass. She found herself instantly tongue-tied as his indigo eyes lanced out at her. She reached out and took the glass from him, very carefully so as not to brush his fingers. She felt indescribably self-conscious under his gaze, but even that couldn't spoil the relief of drinking, and she downed the whole glass without pausing.

'Thanks,' she said breathlessly.

Pai didn't respond, just took the glass from her and turned it meditatively in his long fingers, his eyes fixed intently on his face. She felt her blush deepen, but breaking the silence grew more impossible with every passing second.

'Retasu,' Pai said. He pronounced her name carefully, fully, enunciating every syllable. Lettuce's breathing stilled and she gazed up at him, spellbound.

'Forgive me, Lettuce, I am afraid I must be blunt,' Pai said, crouching down so that his face was on a level with hers. 'This sort of thing has never been my forte. I see...a great deal of wisdom in you. Only you can see past this endless conflict our two sides have created, and empathise with our cause, and I can't find it in myself to fight you anymore.' He took a breath. 'Lettuce, I think I am in love with you. These are my feelings.'

'I – I –' Lettuce stammered. Her extremities seemed to have gone numb and she couldn't remember how to move, much less form a coherent sentence. All she could think of was Pai: his speed, his strength, the contrast of his stormy eyes with his skin, and the idea of the intensity he brought to everything being bent upon her. If he said he loved her, he undoubtedly meant it.

He was so amazing, but so formidable. Lettuce's palms started to sweat a little just looking at him, and then she realised with a jolt that he had leaned towards her.

Lettuce froze, her eyes riveted on his face. As she stared he raised a hand, brushing her hair back from her face and gently cupping her cheek.

'May I...?' he whispered. Pure, unbridled panic seized her.

His lips touched hers, and her heart took off so fast it seemed to have stopped. She couldn't do this, she didn't know how to do this, it was the platonic being realised and she didn't see how she could ever match it...how could she kiss him when the mere _idea_ of him set butterflies dancing in her stomach?

Pai seemed to sense her anxiety, and did nothing to alter the gentle, undemanding contact, except to run his hand through her hair and down her neck. That simple action was enough to set her skin tingling. She began to relax a very little, allowing herself to examine the sensation of his mouth on hers, though doing so sent embarrassment roaring through her.

Not that it wasn't...pleasant.

She just felt so _shy_.

Pai drew back to look at her with an expression that would have been soft on another face. She could read sincere fondness there, but the lines of his face were too sharp, too hard to allow a truly sentimental expression. He seemed so unattainable, alien and beautiful, like stars or distant mountains. His beauty pierced her through like a knife, quick and silver and lethal. And even as it did so Pai kissed her again.

Holding her closer now, his hands wound securely into her hair, he pressed his mouth to hers and touched his tongue to her lower lip, coaxing her to let him deepen the kiss. A part of her wanted to relax into it, but she still couldn't trust herself. She didn't want to take any part of it for granted, and abandoning herself to the moment would be doing just that. She maintained her slightly defensive, curled up posture as she responded a little to his cajoling, parting her lips a fraction.

'Stop that,' Pai growled.

'W-what?' Lettuce faltered. Of course she'd done something wrong, of course –

'Trying not to let yourself accept me, denying your own feelings. Lettuce.' He leaned in until his forehead was resting on hers. 'Please tell me. Can you return my love?'

Lettuce was brought up short. He was asking her this?

'I – I don't...how can you feel that way?'

'Lettuce...' His face darkened. Lettuce wavered.

'I...I'm _afraid _of how much I feel for you...'

'Retasu, you underestimate your own worth. You are an amazingly selfless person, but believe me when I tell you that you are in every way worthy of my attentions. I would be a fool to ignore you. Though...' something glinted deep in his eyes... 'it _is_ flattering to be seen as you seem to see me.'

He rose and turned away, crossing the room to set the water glass down on the table. Then he raised his hands to his throat and began to undo the laces of his shirt.

Lettuce stopped breathing. The air in her lungs and the blood in her veins seemed to have been turned to searing ice. Her eyes fixed on the lengthening chink of white skin between the edges of his shirt, unable to look away. Pai tugged the leather cord out of its last hole and wound it neatly around his fingers before setting it down next to the glass. The slight movement of his arms pulled the sides of his shirt further apart, exposing more of his alabaster skin. Lettuce stared. Did he have any idea what he was doing to her? One last shred of cynicism made it into her mind. Of course he did.

Pai slid the shirt off his shoulders, subtly flexing the muscles in his arms as he did so, and folded it up with the lace. He took his time, keeping his face averted from her. In the dim room his skin seemed to glow.

At last he turned and began to pace slowly towards her. His chest was strongly but not overly sculpted, the muscles in his abdomen subtly defined. She shrank back into the sofa as he reached it and crawled towards her, pressing her slowly down to lie on her back.

'What are you doing?' she breathed, heart racing.

'Proving to you that you are beautiful,' he answered quietly. She could tell that he was done with chaste, experimental kisses when he lowered his face to her neck and began to kiss up her collarbone. He was humming with barely bridled passion as he laced his fingers through her hair, tilted her face up to him and sank into her mouth.

Her stomach flipped over; her heart kicked. She couldn't stop herself from arching up into him as he kissed her. The feel of his bare skin did weird things to her self-control...one of her hands raised reflexively to brush across his chest, and then she whipped it back, blushing furiously. Oh God, where was she supposed to put her hands? She couldn't have them going everywhere like in films, but she couldn't just leave them hanging there...romance novels were NO USE!

'You _can_ touch me if you want to, Retasu,' Pai murmured, his voice too low for her to tell if there was humour in it. He drew back to look at her through half-lidded eyes, his expression tender but still so keen, so beautiful. Her throat closed with nerves. Surely it would be OK to just rest her hands on his back? She wrapped her arms tentatively around him as he pulled her into another heart-stopping kiss, one warm hand supporting her neck. Meanwhile Lettuce was faced with a new dilemma. Nothing could have prepared her for the texture of his skin, or the way the muscles beneath it rippled against her palms. She longed to run her hands down his back, and touch more, but at the same time they seemed welded in place on his shoulders. She was terrified.

'Kiss me _back_, Retasu,' Pai whispered against her neck, his voice low and penetrating. He traced two fingers lightly back and forth along her collarbone and darted his tongue into her mouth, making her jerk involuntarily against him. 'I want you, Retasu, I need your love...' his arms were winding around her waist, drawing her closer, removing every inch of space between them. He crushed his lips to hers with new fervour and Lettuce found herself responding, pressing up against him, her body no longer answering to the fear in her mind. And she let it, because kissing Pai, no matter the consequences, felt so indescribably wonderful. Hesitantly she trailed her hand over his shoulder and down his chest. He seemed to like that; his hand closed over hers and held it there while his other arm gripped her with suffocating strength. When his hold relaxed again she fell back, panting, then raised her fingers to caress his face, his neck, and, very carefully, one of his ears.

'Why do you have these?' she wondered aloud.

'They give us very acute hearing,' Pai explained, rising onto his hands and knees to give her a breather. One corner of his mouth pulled up in a smile. 'It's useful, when we fly, to be able to hear for long distances. The large external ear acts as a funnel for sound, like bats, you know, though of course we don't use sonar as they do.'

'Oh.' Lettuce felt the heat flooding her face again. 'Obvious, really.'

'Mmm.' Pai stroked her cheek thoughtfully. Her blushes were so endearing. He began to nuzzle gently into the side of her neck. 'It can be truly amazing, what there is to be heard,' he almost lilted. 'So many tiny sounds. I can hear your breathing so clearly, Retasu. I can hear your skin brushing against mine. I can hear every beat of your heart.' He laid his hand on her chest, over the spot where her pulse was strongest. Lettuce gazed up into his eyes, mesmerised, as he leaned slowly down to engage her lips again.

This kiss had more edge than any of the previous ones. There was something different and possessive about the way his lips moved with hers; he was exploring every detail of her mouth, claiming her secrets. His hands slid down her sides, raising goosebumps on her skin. As she trembled he ground down with his hips, provoking a sharp gasp from her.

'P-pai,' she protested, trying to plant her hands on his shoulders and then flinching away from his bare skin. 'Stop.'

He propped himself up on his elbows to look at her. 'Stop?' he said musingly. 'You don't want that.'

'But I don't want –'

'There are things that you don't want,' Pai conceded delicately, 'but I don't believe that you wish for me to stop now. There was no point in trying to disguise the way her breathing hitched. He would hear it. He caressed her cheek and jaw, running his thumb across her lower lip. 'If I leave now you will burn for me long after I am gone. Come, Lettuce, what are you so afraid of? Let yourself feel what I know you feel, what I am feeling.' He pressed his face into her hair, inhaling deeply. 'Besides –' his arms tightened around her – 'I am not ready to let you go just yet.'

His lips were like fire as they sealed over hers, irresistible in their sweetness and strength. .He trailed a path of kisses across her check and then began on her neck and collarbone. Her Mew mark tingled; it had always been more sensitive than the rest of her skin and when his lips brushed it she gave herself away with a gasp. He latched onto it mercilessly, stimulating it until she had to scream his name – 'Pai-kun!' He pushed her shirt up and nuzzled down her flank, nipping and sucking every inch of skin he could find. She hissed as his sharp fangs pricked her, but his tongue was always there to sooth the slight stings, obliterating the pain with shivers of pleasure. His hand crept between her thighs, and then he did something that made her yelp and coil up around him.

No...no...

_Yes._

His fingers curled demandingly into her groin, hitting the same sweet spot in an incessant rhythm that sent unbelievable sensations spiking into her. Her nails bit into him as she tried to find her will, voice, her ragged breathing rasping in time with his hands and lips.

'Pai!' she yelled again, pushing him away with all her might.

'Retasu,' he growled hungrily. His voice caused her another stab of desire, but she struggled upright, keeping her hands against his chest to hold him away. 'Pai, please, I can't, I...'

'Lettuce-chan?'

She shook her head wordlessly, blinking as her eyes filmed over with tears. It was the most irrational, stupid reaction, but she couldn't stop it. She gave a little gasp and the tears spilled over.

'Retasu!' He put his hands up to her face, wiping them away as they fell. 'Retasu, please don't cry!'

'I'm...sorry,' she sobbed, trying to turn away and hide herself from his piercing eyes and still-bare torso. The sight of him filled her with despair. She'd _known_ she couldn't do this – what was she doing, crying her eyes out while such a strong, perfect man stretched out his arms to her? - - she felt stupid and naive, but she still couldn't change her mind. 'I can't, I just...'

'Retasu, don't apologise to me.' Very gently, as though afraid of distressing her further, he pulled her into his arms and cradled her there, stroking her hair softly. Her tear-stained cheek pressed against his warm chest, and she could hear his heartbeat, steady and soothing in her ear. Slowly her shaking sobs quieted, leaving her exhausted but calm. It was still Pai there, holding her against his naked chest, but it was a world away from the hot, frantic sensations of a few moments ago. She turned and buried her face in his chest while he continued to run his fingers through her hair.

'Lettuce-chan?' he said finally. 'Are you OK?'

'Yeah,' she nodded shakily. 'Sorry.'

'I'm the one who should apologise, Lettuce,' he said, still holding her so securely against him. 'I got carried away...no, even that's a lie. I wanted more than I had the right to ask for. I'm sorry.'

'It's OK. I didn't mean to freak out. I just...I just want...'

'What do you want, Retasu?'

'I want you to hold me like you're holding me now.' Lettuce kept her head down but forced herself to speak frankly. 'I want you to kiss me just for the sake of the kiss, not to try and push it on into something more. I want...I want you to just love me, Pai-kun.'

'I do love you.' He pushed her hair off her face and met her eyes, and she realised that she had been wrong to think that his face could not be gentle. It was the very definition of tenderness, yet still clear-cut, still like hills in the morning. Or like the sea glittering in the sun, just waiting to be dived into.

'I...I'm head over heels for you, Pai,' she whispered. 'I can't seem to think of anything but you, and whenever you cross my mind everything just freezes up and I can't seem to breathe...' She raised a hand to brush almost reverently across his face, shaking her head slowly. 'I would love to give you everything I have, but I just can't. Not yet.' She dropped her eyes, and a second later Pai's lips pressed against her forehead.

'Whatever part of me you want is yours, dear Retasu-chan,' he said. 'My heart, my love, my self. As you ask...' He kissed her on the lips, laying her carefully back on the couch again. His lips were indescribably gentle this time, reiterating his promise again and again. There was a faint spark of passion in this kiss too, but Lettuce thought that was probably her rather than him, a product of the burning need she knew she felt for him.

A deep contentment settled over her as he slowly acquainted himself with her lips and mouth. It was almost more intimate and sensual than the previous round had been; every touch was so lingering, every motion so agonisingly slow. But there was none of that pressure and panic that had plagued her before. She arched slightly against him and parted her lips to taste him better, blushing at her own boldness but carrying on anyway. Her breathing deepened as a zesty, persistent tingle began inside her. _This_, she thought dreamily, _this is what I wanted_. Her whole body felt like it was blossoming and flowing into his._ I could almost fall asleep here_. The kissing was soothing, hypnotic, like straying into some delicious dream.

'I see what you mean,' Pai panted. 'This _is_ nice.'

'You like it?' Lettuce asked tentatively, little bubbles of happiness beginning somewhere in her chest.

'Do I like it?' Pai murmured, lowering his face back to hers. She whimpered a little as his tongue entered her mouth. 'I like _you_, Retasu-chan.' He grazed his lips along her jaw, making her shiver against him. 'You have no idea,' he whispered almost soundlessly.

Lettuce was still hyperventilating from that remark when her ears caught a faint scrunch of feet on the gravel outside. She shot upright, banging her forehead against Pai's as she did so.

'Ow!' she yelped. 'That must be my mum back from the city!'

'Then it seems we shall have to continue this at a later date, Retasu-chan,' Pai breathed, apparently quite unaffected by the pain. His eyes smouldered blackly with promises. Lettuce gulped. 'Until next time, my love.' Pai drew her into one last, deep kiss, holding her until the last possible second and then simply teleporting away, leaving her staring breathlessly at the place where he had been.

Lettuce sat up and tried to compose herself, though her heart was still hammering fit to burst. She tugged her fingers through her hair, which didn't seem to be sticking up too badly at least, and straightened her shirt. Then she threw a puzzled look at the front door. No-one had come in yet.

Then she heard a floorboard creak above her head.

Uh-oh.

Suddenly she wished that Pai was still there.

'Mew Mew Lettuce –' she began, and then hesitated. The last thing she needed was to give her identity away. Instead she waited, perfectly still and quiet, her power pendant at the ready.

She heard footsteps on the stairs, and then a figure appeared in the kitchen doorway, blotting out the light. Lettuce gaped for a moment and then leapt to her feet, crying:

'Zakuro!'

'_Lettuce?_' Zakuro's face as she entered the room was almost comical. Lettuce had never imagined that the older girl could look so...well,_ flabbergasted_.

'You nearly scared the life out of me,' she laughed shakily, flopping back onto the sofa. 'Did you climb through the window? Why didn't you just knock?'

'Because,' said Zakuro, through gritted teeth it sounded like, I didn't know you'd _be here_.'

Lettuce sobered up quite rapidly at that. She recalled what she'd been doing the last time the others saw her. Drowning.

'Shirogane sent me to plant a note from you explaining your absence,' Zakuro said. 'And to look for any sign of you. Callous bastard.'

'Oh,' Lettuce said softly. She noticed now that Zakuro was still in her Mew costume, and that she looked exhausted. 'Well, I'm alive...' She cut off short as Zakuro pulled her off the sofa and hugged her. Loosely and fleetingly, but still. It was almost more astonishing than all Pai's declarations of love.

'Lettuce, what _happened_ to you?' Zakuro's eyes were huge and dark in her white face. 'The last thing I saw you were diving for the Mew Aqua, and then it got too stormy and we all had to pull back. Mint had to fly over and pull us out as it was. She swept up and down for a long time trying to find you, but she couldn't see you anywhere. Ryou had to call her in eventually. Pudding was distraught. Lettuce-chan, how did you escape?'

'Well, I was underwater for a long time first...I didn't get the Mew Aqua, but it reacted with me and I was able to stay under and defeat the chimera animae...'

'We thought that must have been you, they all stopped attacking...'

'And then the Mew Aqua just sort of went out of me – why does it _do _that? – and then I was just thrashing and swimming over by the rocks for...I don't know how long. It felt like ages. Zakuro-onee-chan, why don't you sit down? You look worn out.'

'Well, that makes sense,' Zakuro said, settling herself on the sofa next to Lettuce. 'Mint checked over there, but with the waves and the rocks it's not surprising she missed you. But how did you get out?'

'Well I, wh...' Lettuce looked down at her hands. 'I don't know why, but Pai pulled me out.' He made sure I was alright and teleported me back here.'

'A-aaaahhhh,' Zakuro exclaimed softly, a speculative half-smile springing to her lips. Lettuce scowled nervously, wondering exactly what it was about this statement that her friend found so illuminating.

'And what then?' Zakuro enquired.

'We-ell...' Lettuce hesitated, wondering whether to tell any more. She made a snap decision and took the plunge. 'Actually, Zakuro-onee-chan, I kind of need your help.'

'So he kissed you then?'

'What – I – _how did you know that?_' Lettuce squeaked, flushing beetroot. Zakuro didn't say anything, just raised her eyebrows and inclined her head towards the table.

'KYAH!' Lettuce shrieked, lunging forwards and tripping over her own feet. Zakuro stood swiftly and caught her before she could do herself an injury. 'BAKA!' Lettuce raged on, oblivious. 'He forgot his shirt! How could he forget his stupid shirt?'

'In the tumult of love even the most collected lose their senses,' Zakuro observed solemnly, setting the flailing Lettuce back down on the sofa. 'So he came on to you pretty hard, huh?'

* * *

Pai was feeling pleasantly dazed as he rematerialised in the fourth dimension. He sighed and smiled vaguely around, then stopped as his eyes fell on Kish and Tart. The two aliens were floating side by side in midair, gaping at him and blinking occasionally. He made to raise a questioning 'what?' kind of an eyebrow at them, then followed Kish's eyes down and realised that he was still naked from the waist up.

'D'OH!' he yelled, smacking himself in the head exactly where Lettuce had hit him before. '_OW!_'

'Forgotten something, Pai-san?' Kish asked sweetly, having recovered from his initial shock.

'Kisshu, why does Pai need to take off his shirt to kill the fish-girl?' Tart asked in a tremulous voice.

Kish kicked over onto his back and clasped his hands behind his head. 'I expect he found it gave him more freedom of movement, little one,' he said, expertly deflecting the question and pulling off an innuendo in one breath. 'Isn't that right, Pai-san?' he added, wiggling his eyebrows. Pai growled, and Kish's smirk broadened.

'It's never been a problem before,' Tart pondered. 'All our clothing is designed to be very aerodynamic...'

'But it might prove a hindrance if one is attempting the seduction method,' Kish suggested.

'What's seduction?' Tart asked.

'An advanced and complex form of combat involving the use of a subtle blend of verbal and physical tactics to mentally, and indeed physically, incapacitate one's opponent,' Kish rattled off, 'before moving in for the kill. I'll explain how to do it when you're older.'

'Hmmm,' Tart considered, pursing his lips. 'I'm going to look it up,' he announced, getting up and heading for the computer.

'NO!' Pai bellowed, diving after him and tackling him to the ground.

'_Ow_, Pai, what the...HELP!' Tart hollered, wriggling in his comrade's vice-like grip. Kish floated over the scene, a martyred expression on his face.

'Look, Pai,' he said. 'Just go back to her house, get your shirt and do not stop for anything else.'

Pai released Tart and took a deep breath, trying and failing to calm himself down. When Kish was standing in for the Voice of Reason things really were bad.

* * *

'...so he just completely altered his style?' Zakuro clarified. 'Twenty minutes, you say? Wow.'

Lettuce buried her face in her hands. 'Oh my God, I am so dead.'

'What makes you say that, just move that shirt before your parents get in and you'll be fine.'

'No, I mean...if even _you're_ saying wow...'

'Lettuce,' Zakuro laughed, 'chill. Of course I've made out with a shirtless guy before, I just haven't had a man tell me he loves me three times in one session. This one's for keeps, darling.'

'Oh, uh, I...if you say so.'

'I do say so. But you're not meant to be following my advice like a bible, Lettuce, that negates the whole point. Do _you_ like him? I'm not just talking about his shirt.'

'I wish you would shut up about the stupid shirt,' Lettuce growled.

'Sorry,' Zakuro said with a most uncharacteristic giggle. 'It's just so...anyway, your feelings.'

'Ooohh, gosh,' Lettuce sighed, rolling her eyes expressively. It felt great, after the intense romance of half an hour ago, to just trivialise it a little with some girly angsting. 'I just...I fancy him like crazy, to be honest.'

'And you still manage to fight him all the time?' Zakuro said. 'And you're not toast? Wow.'

'Will you STOP SAYING that!' Lettuce wailed, flapping her hands. 'It's freaking me out!'

'Look, Lettuce, I know you hate being the first one into the pool, metaphorically speaking, but if you want to go around dating the enemy you're just gonna have to get used to it. It _is _pretty impressive. Are you going to see him again?'

'Oh,' Lettuce said, flustered by the sudden change of topic. 'I...guess so...'

'Then switch off the starry eyes,' Zakuro instructed. 'Sit up straight. Your profile must be both captivating and intimidating, like so. No hopeless gazing. If you can't bear to look at him, mask it with disinterest, but not too much, you don't want to scare him off. You need to do down-eyes-up-eyes, like this. Smile...no, no, _no_, not all moony and captivated, _coyly_. Like _this_. That's better.'

'Zakuuuuro,' Lettuce whined, 'do I have to do all this? He fell for me the way I am, can't I just –'

Zakuro rounded on her, eyes glittering dangerously. 'You caught him, Lettuce, now you have to keep him. You can't be all guileless and head-over-heels, you must keep him guessing. Now repeat after me...'

* * *

Pai teleported into the kitchen and peered round the door, then flattened himself against the wall hyperventilating. The wolf girl was there. Perfect. Just perfect. He could see his shirt, lying neatly folded where he'd left it on the table...sadly in full view of both girls. He didn't really believe that the wolf would attack him, and he knew they'd have to tell the rest of the Mews sometime...Pai ground his teeth as he realised that the main thing holding him back from just grabbing his shirt and getting the hell out was embarrassment. And it was perfectly justified, he argued with himself, cringing all the while. Human girls en masse were murderous, even sweet ones like Lettuce and emotionless ones like Zakuro. He could just picture them collapsing on the floor and laughing hysterically while he made his escape...and then Kish and Tart doing the same when they took in his flustered appearance...he listened more carefully to the girls' conversation and nearly fell over in shock. Zakuro seemed to be in the middle of an elaborate explanation of raising one's eyebrows... 'the trick is to relax. Keep your right brow totally relaxed...don't even _think_ about it, forget it's there...and then just ease your left up, and let the corner of your mouth come up with it...not bad, keep trying...'

'I just don't think I'm born to it, Zakuro,' Lettuce groaned.

'Nonsense. Raising one eyebrow at a time is a perfectly teachable skill, and an absolute _essential_ for boy-entrancing. Whether the boy in question is a Cyniclon or not.'

Pai leaned against the counter and ground his teeth.

* * *

'...so do you suggest that just because he's not the usual breed of male we abandon the system thought out by our forebears and improvise?' Zakuro demanded. 'Stick to the principles and modify them as you go, that's what I always say.'

'Go, Zakuro, can we just drop this and try to figure out a way to get his shirt back to him?' Lettuce demanded, all timidness gone. Zakuro noticed this with satisfaction, but did not comment.

'No need,' she said smoothly, and then mouthed: 'He's in the kitchen. I can smell him.'

'You – ' Lettuce started. Zakuro whipped a finger to her lips. 'Right,' Lettuce whispered. 'This is perfect. If you just pretend to go to the toilet I can go give it back to him.'

'Really?' Zakuro said in disappointment. 'Don't you want to make him sweat just a little bit longer? He _was_ trying to take over the world until very recently, you know...'

'No!'

'Has he even kicked the habit yet?'

'NO!'

'All right, all right!' Zakuro backed away, spreading her hands in a quelling gesture, and then pursed her lips as though in deliberation.

'I'm sorry, Lettuce, might I retire for a few minutes to visit the powder room?' she said loudly. Lettuce glared at her fellow Mew, who seemed to have come over all giggly.

'All right,' she said ungraciously. 'First door on the right.'

'Thanks.' Zakuro winked and disappeared down the hall. Lettuce sighed tiredly and then went and collected up Pai's shirt and laces. She hurried with them into the kitchen and found Pai right at the door, a sort of desperate expression on his face.

'Pai-kun!' she exclaimed. 'You forgot your shirt.' She held the garment out to him.

'Oh God, do I ever know,' he groaned, snatching it out of her hands and scrambling into it.

'I guess you kind of noticed, huh?' she grinned sheepishly.

'You could say that.'

'Oh God?' she queried, trying to find a light topic of conversation while he attempted to re-thread the laces. 'Do Cyniclons have such a belief system too?'

Pai looked at her. 'I was trying to use an Earth expression actually, Lettuce-chan.'

She blushed deeply. 'Oh.'

Pai chuckled and pulled her against him. 'I love you,' he said, kissing her ear.

'Aha,' Lettuce chuckled weakly. 'Zakuro was quite impressed that you said that.'

'So Zakuro knows?'

'You're not mad, are you?' Lettuce exclaimed anxiously.

'No, no. It saves me a little trouble if at least one of your friends is used to the idea when we break the news.'

'So we are breaking it then.'

'Of course,' Pai grinned, but then his face became serious. 'I will never fight with you again, Retasu-chan. We are together now.'

'Nor I with you,' Lettuce returned formally. 'Ugh, Shirogane-san is going to kill me.'

'Let him try,' Pai growled, and Lettuce giggled at the image of Ryou or Keiichiro actually trying to fight him one on one. She let him kiss her for another moment, then pulled away. 'You'd better get going; I don't think it's kind to keep Zakuro barricaded in the bathroom much longer.'

'You're right, as always,' Pai said with a grimace. 'I'm just not looking forward to facing Kish and Tart.'

'They give you any trouble, I'll kick their butts.'

'I'm sure you will.' Pai stroked her cheek. 'You really are the most formidable foe I have ever encountered.'

'Not anymore.'

'No,' Pai agreed softly. 'Not anymore, and I am so, so glad of that.'

Lettuce smiled, brimming with joy as they shared one last, heartfelt kiss.

**A/N: So the end was fluff city and also boring, but like I said, it's directionless so I had to find some way to finish it off. I apologise for the vocabulary, which I'm sure was repetitive. All hail my first PaiXLettuce fic!**

**Izzy: BTW, Arashi means storm. Heh heh. **

**Shh, people... I'm seeing if I can sneak a little comment of my own on here without her noticing. **

**Thanks to my constant nagging, challenging and liking of her work True wrote this little masterpiece; causing much idea bouncing, late nights and some really quite funny moments... **

**Pour examplé... just after I'd finished reading the bit where Pai teleports (and she hadn't written anymore after that) I said 'he forgot his shirt and laces.' Her cry of 'D'OH!' was enough to wake the dead... XD**

**Well, please review! We all know she deserves it! **

**And remember... shh... *sweatdrop* the bouncing noises have stopped! Roll up, roll up... oh wait, they started again. Phew!**

**Au revoir (cripes, I've come over all French this evening!),**

**Izzy **


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